Once again I find myself riddled and crippled with inner chaos. Confusion, fear, anger. These are the feelings blinding my ability to think rationally and see past the demons in my head.
When the door is opened internally and new layers of the onion are peeled back my tears grow with ever stronger dissonance and dismay.
Secrets come out, not secrets of things done or actions taken, but secrets of the core of my being. Dark truths that only reveal a little at a time. Secrets and truths that continue to shake what I feel to be the very foundation of who I am. Which ultimately leads back to who am I.
I cannot verbally express the discomfort that I feel, I cannot explain the fog between my ears or the perception that glazes over my eyes....
How could I describe what I cannot even define? How can I share what I have yet to understand? How can I accept what I do not wish to know?
Who is this monster behind the mask staring back at me? What lurks beneath that shiny disposition that creates seeds of destruction?
To find peace is to die.
