How can I properly articulate the demon that is nestled between my ears? How can I explain the tenacity of his vigor, the strength of his whisper, the force he uses with the utterance of an urge?
Falling to my knees I am confined by the invisible chains that shackle my insides and destroy me emotionally, mentally and spiritually. The demon within, the friend, the foe; the disease that causes my dis-ease...
If you ever encounter him, be careful, he has a knack for twisting my words smooth as butter and causing them to be unquestionably convincing. He masquerades himself in the form of beauty and intelligence and leaves no room for doubt. His whispers lead me to believe he is always right- at least until the pain comes
The pain and consequence of listening to his voice…the pain and consequence of following his lead….the pain and consequence of letting him pull the strings that keep me shackled to use for his pleasure.
Break free- I must break free. Scream. Rage. Vibrations of immense force throw my body into a state of catatonic shock. Dead on the inside. The demon writhing wins.
It is at the point where I have totally given up and resigned to be bound by his torture forever that my eyes release from the glazed over look of surrender…it migrates then from my eyes to my broken heart which begins to pump, slowly at first but then faster and harder with force…my lungs- I can breathe- shallow to strong my lungs fire up…Strong and stable I stand to my feet and tell him he has no power over me any longer. I choose who to be, who to follow, and where and what I will do. And I choose to rid myself of him forever….the separation is painful as I feel the shackles and strings inside rip and tear- writhing on the ground I result in fetal position, in peace, and quiet. The lights dim slowly the burst through to a blinding sensation of release and freedom.
I have conquered the demon within….
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